This was originally the blog of a first-time Mum to remember the ups and downs of my pregnancy - and chart the first year of my daughter's life. But I've kept it going, and am now a mother of two! More than anything, it helps me to get to sleep once I've emptied my brain of issues and concerns and emotions onto the laptop.
If you're reading this and also a mum- or dad-to-be, first time parent, or just someone who's thinking about it - I hope it gives a little insight into one person's experiences - good and bad....

Thursday 30 May 2013

FOUR MONTHS OLD

So, I've actually managed to breastfeed 12 weeks more than I thought I would - albeit mostly in combination with formula. But now I'm really nearing the end, and - as I did at the same stage with Charlotte - I'm feeling really quite emotional about it.
 
Even though it's entirely my decision, I still feel guilty that I'm not doing it for longer, and that we've shifted to more formula over recent weeks. I'm still feeding James once in the day, and once or twice at night. But it kind of feels like I'm cheating, because I'm not whole-heartedly or exclusively breastfeeding. Part of the problem is that I'm surrounded by militant breastfeeding Mums - many still feeding their 20-month olds. But I must keep reminding myself that I've still managed to do more than many.
 
I think another issue is that it feels like the baby months are really quickly slipping away. While James is still way more a baby than Charlotte ever was,  with weaning looming on the horizon I know it won't be all that long until he's running around and talking back to me like his big sister does.
 
I'm really quite nervous about weaning this time round. Part of me really wants to give Baby Led Weaning a go properly - but another part feels I'd be more comfortable with the traditional purees and mashed food to start. I'll probably end up doing a combination of both. I just hope James is a better eater than Charlotte - I'm dreading having another child where most mealtimes are a battleground.
 
It's a very odd feeling: after nearly two years of looking into Charlotte's eyes and seeing myself reflected back, looking at James' fair hair and blue eyes, which is so alien to my side of the family, almost makes me wonder if he's part of me at all! But as Charlotte is a mini-me, James is a mini-me of his Dad - just a bit more gorgeous!
 
 
And I wonder if it's the winding up of me breastfeeding and James shaking off his really baby stage that is behind me constantly having a nagging thought in my head about.... having a third. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm 95% sure it won't happen - my OH isn't at all keen for a start. My head is saying NO (think of the practicalities - bigger car, getting three kids to playgroups and keeping an eye on them, taking them swimming etc.), but my heart is screaming YES (I long to be pregnant and give birth again, and have one last go at going through those crazy early weeks with a tiny baby).
 
I'm sure it's all hormones and I'm looking back over the recent past with rose-tinted glasses, and that's probably because James (so far) has been such a dream child. I just have to keep reminding myself that if I did have a third child, there's no guarantee he/she wouldn't be the massive handful that Charlotte is/was!
 
On a massive plus side, though - she's slept through the past five nights. It's only taken 23 months!

Monday 13 May 2013

CHARLOTTE-ISMs

The Baby Bible claims 2-year old toddler's should be able to say around 20 words, and early talkers don't put three-word sentences together and count to 10 until around 24-months. Charlotte had 50-words at 11-months, and has been counting to 10 since she was 14 months. Hmmm...
 
Now we know she's not unique - we have friends with equally talkative and bright children. But right now I'm trying to remember and savour this brilliant time where we're having full-on conversations, but she gets things just a little bit wrong which makes me smile. The innocence of trying. And I don't always correct her, because it's so cute how she gets things nearly right, and she gets so much right I want to cling on to the rare baby-ish bit of her just a while longer.
 
Here are a few of my favourite Charlotte-isms:
 
  • "See soon, later" (when she says Goodbye)
  • "'Ow 'bowwwt" (trans. "how about"... to pretty much everything - choosing a book, choice of CD in the car, what to have for tea, when we're going round the supermarket)
  • "Oh No - his milk fell over" (when her baby brother brings up a bit of milk)
  • "It's MINDS" (mine - claiming possession of most things these days)
  • "Mummy Sofie, Mummy Kobi" (talking about her friends' Mum's)
  • "Cue-bunger" (cucumber)
  • "Beeeeeeez" (instead of Buzzz for a Bee)

The only thing that worries me... is that it's another year and a half until she goes to pre-school!